There are many ways that you can help.
- You can provide help and understanding directly to a victim
- You can be active in your community to bring attention to this issue and to bring about culture change
- You can donate funds to organizations providing services to victims and/or working to prevent domestic violence
- You can let your elected representatives know that this is an issue that you care about
- You can raise your children to respect other people and avoid using violence. You can make sure that your children’s schools are safe places to learn and that they have policies to deal with dating violence in the upper grades.
Action Steps to Becoming an Active Witness
see it: notice that something’s wrong
The abused person may show some of the following signs, as a direct result of the abuse.
| Physical | Unexplained injuries, hidden injuries, bruises, black eyes, sprains, broken bones or teeth |
| Emotional | Anxious, upset, depressed, tearful, jumpy, angry, worried, restless, quiet, or confused |
| Social | Avoiding people, not answering the door or phone, cancelling events, getting into arguments |
| Financial | Overdrawn account, foreclosure or eviction, wage garnishment |
| Legal | Frequent court dates, divorce, child custody problems, child abuse investigation |
| Work | Absences, tardiness, sick days, a decrease in work quality, unable to complete tasks, becoming isolated from coworkers |
say it: talk about the abuse:
Try the following steps when talking about abuse:
| 1. Tell them what you see | “I noticed a bruise on your arm…” |
| 2. Express concern | “I am worried about you.” |
| 3. Show support | “No one deserves to be hurt.” |
| 4. Refer them for help | “I have the phone number to…” |
if your friend begins to talk about the abuse:
| Just Listen | Listening can be one of the best ways to help |
| Keep it Confidential | Don’t tell other people that they may not want or be ready to tell. If there is a direct threat of violence, tell them that you both need to tell someone right away. |
| Provide Information, Not Advice | Give them the phone number to the National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-799-SAFE) or other local resources. Be careful about giving advice. They know best how to judge the risks they face. |
| Be There and Be Patient | Coping with abuse takes time. They may not do what you expect them to do when you expect them to do it. If you think it is your responsibility to fix the problems, you may end up feeling frustrated. Instead, focus on building trust, and be patient. |
